It's got a tranny, but is it cross-dressing?
I just keep having more questions about the Hummer.
Why does anyone want to own an off-road vehicle that they are never going to drive off-road?
Why does anyone want to own a vehicle that was designed to keep soldiers safe in a battlefield - and doesn't.
But moreI have questions about their commercials. Their is just no cieling to the level of hyperbole to which Hummer will leap.
But I do like the latest.
On the one hand, there's the soccer mom - in a take on the old comic book back page sand kicking bully ads - waiting in line for her child to use the playground slide. Another soccer mom pushes her child to the front of the line. The 98 pound weakling Mom mincingly points out that her child was first and the sand-kicking bully mom hits her between the eyes with "yeah, well, we're next now."
But there is hope, oh yes. Soccer Mom doesn't send a dime to Charles Atlas. But she does see a "Hummer- Like Nothing Else" advertisement on a passing bus.
Next scene, Soccer Mom has bought herself a Hummer, to the tune "this house is a rockin" and to the catchy catch catchphrase "Hummer: Get Your Girl On" The only thing left to do is drive that sucker into the playground and show down Mom no. 2.
Okay, by itself, it's merely amusing. But then there's this one:
Good looking guy standing in line at the super-market check-out counter. She's ringing up his healthy purchase of veggies, tofu and other fruits of the earth. But wait - there is trouble in paradise. Our wholesome friend notices behind him, the next guy in line has bought half a steer, including a rack of ribs the size of a washer dryer/combo. Ohhhh the inferiority this inspires. Our young friend, torn between his lust for meat, his belief in eating healthy, and his envy of carnovores everywhere. Oh what could possibly resolve this emotional perfect storm? Well will wonders never cease, he buys a Hummer - estimated 20 mpg on the highway. The catchy tag-line? "Hummer: Restore the Balance"
Leaving aside such important questions as whether the purchase of a gas guzzling monster truck will somehow make a vegetarian feel better about not eating meat and just who the heck is Hummer's demographic. Here's what I really want to know:
Okay, I get it. Any guy's going to feel better after getting a Hummer. But how does a Hummer make a woman feel more like a "real woman"? For that matter, how can it make a woman feel more like a "real woman" at the same time make a man feel more like a "real man"?
If it has anything to do with the transmission do I need some special kind of tranny fluid?.
How does the Hummer know the difference? What if the Hummer makes a mistake? What if I buy a Hummer because I'm a male vegan, and it turns me into a self-empowered soccer mom?
What if I'm a stressed-out soccer-mom and it turns me into a rough-riding, beer guzzling, rifle-toting good'o boy?
I
Why does anyone want to own an off-road vehicle that they are never going to drive off-road?
Why does anyone want to own a vehicle that was designed to keep soldiers safe in a battlefield - and doesn't.
But moreI have questions about their commercials. Their is just no cieling to the level of hyperbole to which Hummer will leap.
But I do like the latest.
On the one hand, there's the soccer mom - in a take on the old comic book back page sand kicking bully ads - waiting in line for her child to use the playground slide. Another soccer mom pushes her child to the front of the line. The 98 pound weakling Mom mincingly points out that her child was first and the sand-kicking bully mom hits her between the eyes with "yeah, well, we're next now."
But there is hope, oh yes. Soccer Mom doesn't send a dime to Charles Atlas. But she does see a "Hummer- Like Nothing Else" advertisement on a passing bus.
Next scene, Soccer Mom has bought herself a Hummer, to the tune "this house is a rockin" and to the catchy catch catchphrase "Hummer: Get Your Girl On" The only thing left to do is drive that sucker into the playground and show down Mom no. 2.
Okay, by itself, it's merely amusing. But then there's this one:
Good looking guy standing in line at the super-market check-out counter. She's ringing up his healthy purchase of veggies, tofu and other fruits of the earth. But wait - there is trouble in paradise. Our wholesome friend notices behind him, the next guy in line has bought half a steer, including a rack of ribs the size of a washer dryer/combo. Ohhhh the inferiority this inspires. Our young friend, torn between his lust for meat, his belief in eating healthy, and his envy of carnovores everywhere. Oh what could possibly resolve this emotional perfect storm? Well will wonders never cease, he buys a Hummer - estimated 20 mpg on the highway. The catchy tag-line? "Hummer: Restore the Balance"
Leaving aside such important questions as whether the purchase of a gas guzzling monster truck will somehow make a vegetarian feel better about not eating meat and just who the heck is Hummer's demographic. Here's what I really want to know:
Okay, I get it. Any guy's going to feel better after getting a Hummer. But how does a Hummer make a woman feel more like a "real woman"? For that matter, how can it make a woman feel more like a "real woman" at the same time make a man feel more like a "real man"?
If it has anything to do with the transmission do I need some special kind of tranny fluid?.
How does the Hummer know the difference? What if the Hummer makes a mistake? What if I buy a Hummer because I'm a male vegan, and it turns me into a self-empowered soccer mom?
What if I'm a stressed-out soccer-mom and it turns me into a rough-riding, beer guzzling, rifle-toting good'o boy?
I
posted by BuddhistAttorney | 6:03 PM
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